be a deliberate person.

I am not sure where I read this statement but I put it in my notes app on my phone and it has been staring me in the face for a while now.

BE A DELIBERATE PERSON.

How amazing is that?

I have come to realize in my new motherhood how incredibly important it is for me to be a deliberate person. To be a person that my daughter can look up to. To be a person who pays attention. To be a person that treats people with kindness. To be a person that speaks gently and loves. To be a person that is true to herself.
It is easy for me to get hung up on what I am not- remnants of low self esteem that surfaced during 7th grade, I guess. I cannot believe at 30 those remnants still follow me around and I am sure they will forevermore. But what I have now that I didn't have then is a sense of being intentional and precious offspring that make me want to be better.

I have talked with fellow mamas about these unwanted feelings of jealousy and self esteem issues that rear their ugly heads when babies come along and you discover that maybe motherhood is a little more difficult than expected or maybe raising a child with your partner is a little more difficult than expected. It is tough, no doubt, and none of us will deal with these issues perfectly. But imagine if we all tried to just be more deliberate and hold more intention in each day, in each moment. Maybe things would feel different, maybe we would shift into our roles as mamas and daddy's with more ease.

I like the idea of being deliberate because it does not mean to be happy all day everyday- it means to be true to yourself in every situation, good or bad or messy. And I know for certain, us mamas experience messy situations EVERYday. Being deliberate could change the course of our lives and children's lives. I think I am gonna try it.

This is making me bloom today:
*A five hour playdate with a sweet friend
*Munching on ice- a new pregnancy craving
*Change on the horizon